As I sat in one of the most exquisite cosmetology clinics waiting for my turn to come; I couldn’t help but look up at all the people visiting there while scrolling through the social diaries magazines and wonder…… There were so many stones unturned, so many dreams unfulfilled or perhaps life didn’t go as planned.
As I shuffled through pages filled with Armani, and Chanel and Gucci I couldn’t help my hands from going constantly through my messed up untidily tied hair,through my receding hairline and a pair of unironed clothes worn in haste. I couldn’t help realize I was the mother of a little girl & a working woman in her early 30s and not even half of what I had thought I would be by this time. I thought I’d be wearing an Armani or a Valentino by now,I d own a couple of Louis Vuittons and Pradas and that too the original ones. Or perhaps being a student I was a big dreamer. But then there was a lot which I did achieve, don’t know if it was worthwhile though ….. As it happens in life we forget what we get and remember only what we don’t get …….. There was a time where probably brands such as Mango, H&M, Khaddi were unapproachable too. And it wasent about the brands ….it was about attaining a certain status a certain benchmark in life where this all would be a part of the deal ….a part of the package.
I guess as humans we lose the worth of what we have achieved. Perhaps it enables us to keep the fire enkindled for desires or else we all would die without any struggle.
As I scrolled through the pages I realized it will take another lifetime to really be one of those; those exquisite unique ones. I realized I would not be one of those; those special ones who could steal the show….maybe by their charm or maybe by their expensive wardrobe or by their magic of speaking, I realized I didn’t have any of those … that I would always be one from the crowd….the common person ….. That’s what I have been and will always be no matter how much I try. Life is so competitive, you achieve a milestone, the world is ready with another benchmark …its like climbing a ladder which has no end, the stairs keep on extending farther ahead ….there is nothing on top coz we are never to reach our top.
I get up … I know I ll just die a loser and this is it.
Just then my daughter comes up and hugs me …I look at her and I realize …. I still have the next 30 years to prove myself (hopefully) ….to prove to this little being that your mom was worthwhile …..just the thought brings back all the aspirations… I think I can still do it ….. Armani hang on ….. I still have time 😉